It’s an expression that most of us have heard. Many of us have said it – “if there’s anything I can do…” It’s commonly heard at funerals when a mourner wants to offer some comfort to someone who has lost a loved one. And, frankly, the recipient of that well-intentioned offer, seldom acts on that overture.
What most of us fail to recognize is that such an offer of support is one of the closest acts to God’s heart that we are capable of. That act of unselfish giving is approaching the core of God’s being. It is an act of love. It is an act unburdened by self-serving strings attached.
In the moment that we hold someone’s hand and make that offer, we have momentarily embraced our common feelings of pain and distress. In that moment, to some degree, we share their pain, and in doing so, we experience and project a type of love that is pure and free of conditions.
Most of us have experienced romantic love, but that type of love is burdened by self-interest. While we may experience a great affection for our romantic partner, that love is inevitably linked to our own feelings of joy. It is not so much an unselfish giving as it is a reciprocal exchange in which both parties benefit by experiencing pleasure in the process of giving to the other.
The act of offering to shoulder some of the pain that another person experiences is different. It is a purer form of love in the sense that the offer to share that pain has no benefit for those that make the offer.
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” – 1 John 4:16
Although many will deny the reality of their testimony, there are multiple reports from people who claim they have experienced a brief encounter beyond death and returned to life. One of the most common descriptions these people report is a feeling of overwhelming love, unconditional love. They report that the feeling of love is the very essence of God. God is love.
For those of us who find ourselves consoling a mourner, it is important to realize that our offer – “if there is anything I can do…” is more than an offer. It is that full expression of love. By making that love-filled offer, we have already given that mourner the greatest gift we can give.